I will never forget...

Today is the day. April 12, 2009. The day I've worried about since Braden & Brody's arrival. It has been one year today since their birth. This year has gone by so fast. We've struggled. We've laughed. We've cried. We've been pissed. You name the emotion, I've had it all year!

I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN...

how mad I was at myself for working all day in pain and being stubborn and not calling the doctor...

how guilty I felt for not going to the doctor when Cary told me to...

that awful feeling when I realized, I was having my babies and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it...

that long car ride to St. Vincent's. The rain, the phone call telling the doctor I thing I'm in labor they gush, my water just broke...

the angel in the lobby of the hospital that directed Cary where to go to get a labor and delivery nurse. Why a little only lady was sitting in a chair in the lobby by herself at St. Vincent's at midnight on a Friday Night still shocks me. Why she was gone when Cary came back down with a nurse shocks me. An ANGEL indeed!

the fear I had and the fear on Cary's face when the nurse told be "you're having your babies" knowing it was too early and they wouldn't make it...

the uncontrollable feeling of delivering Braden as we pulled into the hospital...

showing all my "goods" to the parking lot at the hospital while I delivered Brody right there before I could even get out of my car...

the elevator ride up to the hospital. Shaking and trembling from shock...

the boys waiting until after "Honey's" birthday to make their grand arrival...

the wonderful night nurse who was so kind and caring...

seeing both boys brought in to us, cleaned up and beautiful...

Braden's sweet toes that are identical to his dad's toes! The big one that isn't the big one...

Brody's sweet little body, his tiny hands, tiny feet, tiny nose...

20 fingers... 20 toes...

holding them for the first time...

the awful morning nurse who left us out in the hallway with all the "happy" bows on the doors for all the baby boys and girls while the were bring the boys to the bereavment room...

holding Braden & Brody for the last time...

Today is a celebration. A celebration of the memory of Braden and Brody Nicholas! Although, I don't have the opportunity to celebrate 1st Birthdays like most parents, I feel this is a special day. It's the day, one year ago that we met our angels!!!
Even if we never have more children, we're parent's and will always love Braden and Brody.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Boys! Celebrate with Jesus, Maddie, Grandmaw, Mema & Paw Paw. Keep watching over me and your daddy! Keep us strong! I love you!