The number you've ALL be waiting for...

People amaze me! Loni and I had a very successful first Baby Steps Memorial Race! We were able to donate a GRAND TOTAL of $9,000 to The Amelia Center.

That's me on the left, Andy McNiel (from The Amelia Center) and Loni Hodge. What a great team!

The center was VERY happy to receive such a large donation. We could not have done it of course without all of the participants, volunteers, sponsors and donors! You guys know who you are!!! We want to thank everyone for their hard work and kind heart!

Loni and I decided to donate the funds into a Remembrance Funds for Braden, Brody and Maddox Elise. This is something new for The Amelia Center.

Here's what their website says about the new opportunity - "A Remembrance Fund, bearing the name of a family member or friend, can be established to provide annual support to The Amelia Center by making a memorial gift of $500.00 or more. This can be made as an individual memorial donation or a combined memorial donation by you, family members and friends. Once a Remembrance Fund is established, friends and family can make contributions throughout the year to support the fund. The Amelia Center will send annual updates to those supporting the fund regarding opportunities to contribute. At the end of each year, a portion of the Remembrance Fund will be used to support Amelia Center program costs, the remainder of the fund will be sustained to build upon for the next year. Remembrance Funds will be acknowledged in the Tears to Hope newsletter and by letter to family members and friends at your request. In addition, each fund will be recognized on the “We Remember Them…” wall in The Amelia Center lobby."

We chose to set up the Remembrance Funds so that The Amelia Center can use all or part of the race donation before the end of the year. This type of donation allows them to carry over part of the funds into the next year if they wish. I'm very honored that Braden and Brody will have a plaque on the "We Remember Them" wall. I decided it would be best to have Braden & Brody one plaque rather than two. They came into this world together! They drifted from this world together! They belong together!

Get over it???

I've had some very rough days lately. I should not have to explain myself, but people need to realize that grief does not have a time frame, nor does it ever really end. It is important not to have expectations that parents will be "finished" or "get over" this type of loss.

I say this because recently I've been told that I need to be the "old Abby" and I cannot understand how people who have NOT been in my situation feel as if they can tell me how I should be. The loss of Braden and Brody was not like a scratch that heals in a few days. It is like a deep wound that will forever scar my life.

As much as it may make others uncomfortable that I lost the boys - I do not think they realize that I am uncomfortable as well. I don't think you can EVER be comfortable with "visiting" your children in the cemetery.