I've had some very rough days lately. I should not have to explain myself, but people need to realize that grief does not have a time frame, nor does it ever really end. It is important not to have expectations that parents will be "finished" or "get over" this type of loss.
I say this because recently I've been told that I need to be the "old Abby" and I cannot understand how people who have NOT been in my situation feel as if they can tell me how I should be. The loss of Braden and Brody was not like a scratch that heals in a few days. It is like a deep wound that will forever scar my life.
As much as it may make others uncomfortable that I lost the boys - I do not think they realize that I am uncomfortable as well. I don't think you can EVER be comfortable with "visiting" your children in the cemetery.
2010 Memorial Race Donations
Taking BABY STEPS to mend broken hearts
About Me
- Abby
- I am a daughter, sister, wife and mother. My husband and I have been married for 11 years (October 2009.) I work for the home office for a surgical care company and he owns his own heating & air conditioning company. Our lives have changed so much in the past year. The #1 questions people always ask us is... How many kids do you have? My answer today is, I have two very special twin sons Braden and Brody who are in the arms of Jesus until they are in mine again!
BEREAVED PARENTS CONNECT
4 comments:
Oh Abby, I'm sorry you've been struggling. Ignore those people. No one, but those who have gone through it, can understand the deep love we have for our babies, and immense sadness we now feel. I sent your boys' butterflies to Loni. I hope they bring you a smile. Thinking of you!
Bree! That's awesome. Thanks so much! It's hard to ignore it when I'm with them daily, but I know deep down they can't know how we feel. God will lead them one day to understand!!!
Abby, I don't understand why people say these things either. I've been on this road for more than 3 years and it still hurts when people expect me to be "over it". Over time I've learned that I have a core group of friends that I can vent to and they will listen as though it all just happened yesterday. I avoid talking about it with those who think otherwise. It is a gut-wrenching journey my friend, but I promise there will be a day when you will look back and see the many blessings He's given you during this difficult time. If you ever need to talk, cry or laugh feel free to give me a ring!
~Lurenda
I cannot WAIT to read more of this. I mean, you just know so much about this. So much of it Ive never even thought of. You sure did put a new twist on something that Ive heard so much about. I dont believe Ive actually read anything that does this subject as good justice as you just did.
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