Today is the day. April 12, 2009. The day I've worried about since Braden & Brody's arrival. It has been one year today since their birth. This year has gone by so fast. We've struggled. We've laughed. We've cried. We've been pissed. You name the emotion, I've had it all year!
I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN...
how mad I was at myself for working all day in pain and being stubborn and not calling the doctor...
how guilty I felt for not going to the doctor when Cary told me to...
that awful feeling when I realized, I was having my babies and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it...
that long car ride to St. Vincent's. The rain, the phone call telling the doctor I thing I'm in labor they gush, my water just broke...
the angel in the lobby of the hospital that directed Cary where to go to get a labor and delivery nurse. Why a little only lady was sitting in a chair in the lobby by herself at St. Vincent's at midnight on a Friday Night still shocks me. Why she was gone when Cary came back down with a nurse shocks me. An ANGEL indeed!
the fear I had and the fear on Cary's face when the nurse told be "you're having your babies" knowing it was too early and they wouldn't make it...
the uncontrollable feeling of delivering Braden as we pulled into the hospital...
showing all my "goods" to the parking lot at the hospital while I delivered Brody right there before I could even get out of my car...
the elevator ride up to the hospital. Shaking and trembling from shock...
the boys waiting until after "Honey's" birthday to make their grand arrival...
the wonderful night nurse who was so kind and caring...
seeing both boys brought in to us, cleaned up and beautiful...
Braden's sweet toes that are identical to his dad's toes! The big one that isn't the big one...
Brody's sweet little body, his tiny hands, tiny feet, tiny nose...
20 fingers... 20 toes...
holding them for the first time...
the awful morning nurse who left us out in the hallway with all the "happy" bows on the doors for all the baby boys and girls while the were bring the boys to the bereavment room...
holding Braden & Brody for the last time...
Today is a celebration. A celebration of the memory of Braden and Brody Nicholas! Although, I don't have the opportunity to celebrate 1st Birthdays like most parents, I feel this is a special day. It's the day, one year ago that we met our angels!!!
Even if we never have more children, we're parent's and will always love Braden and Brody.
Happy Heavenly Birthday Boys! Celebrate with Jesus, Maddie, Grandmaw, Mema & Paw Paw. Keep watching over me and your daddy! Keep us strong! I love you!
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5 comments:
This is a beautiful post and tribute to your boys, Abby! I'm sure that day a year ago is one full of many mixed emotions. I praise God that you were able to look back on it a year later, on Resurrection Sunday, and celebrate the time that you had them here on earth as well as their eternal lives in Heaven.
I'm so glad you made it through the day - you definitely had my prayers, and, I'm certain, the prayers of many others as well.
I know those boys were thought of numerous times yesterday and the past year....i caught myself many times wondering what the boys and maddie would have been doing yesterday...is there a huge party on easter? do the angels give specials birthday parties to the babies....because our kids birthdays are two fold, they are their earthly birth and their heavenly arrival...you know heaven rejoiced when our babies went home!
We won't forget either, Abby and Cary. We love you guys.
What a beautiful tribute. I'm remembering with you.
~~HUGS~~
Abby, I'm a little behind on following all of my "bloggers", but I had to comment on your post. It is absolutely beautiful. What a wonderful tribute to your sweet little babies. I am still praying for you and Cary.
Love you,
Laura Filasek
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