I'm so excited!!!

I absolutely can't wait for Mother's Day. I know I should be down and sad since I'm a mother and don't have children here on earth. I am so excited about a special gift I have for Braden & Brody's "Honey" and "Nana" Oh, it will be so special. PLEASE don't forget to check back soon for a picture of their special gift. Honey is dying to know, but I'm being good... MUM's the word...

Silent Footprints

Silent Footprints

We never had the chance to play,

to laugh, to rock, to wiggle.

We long to hold you,

touch you now And listen to you giggle.

I'll always be your mother.

He'll always be your dad.

You will always be our child,

The child we never had.

But now you're gone... but yet you're here.

We'll sense you everywhere.

You are our sorrow and our joy.

There's love in every tear.

Just know our love goes deep and strong

We'll forget you never.

The child we had, but never had, And yet will have forever.
(c) Christie Michael All Rights Reserved

I love you boys!!!!

I will never forget...

Today is the day. April 12, 2009. The day I've worried about since Braden & Brody's arrival. It has been one year today since their birth. This year has gone by so fast. We've struggled. We've laughed. We've cried. We've been pissed. You name the emotion, I've had it all year!

I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN...

how mad I was at myself for working all day in pain and being stubborn and not calling the doctor...

how guilty I felt for not going to the doctor when Cary told me to...

that awful feeling when I realized, I was having my babies and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it...

that long car ride to St. Vincent's. The rain, the phone call telling the doctor I thing I'm in labor they gush, my water just broke...

the angel in the lobby of the hospital that directed Cary where to go to get a labor and delivery nurse. Why a little only lady was sitting in a chair in the lobby by herself at St. Vincent's at midnight on a Friday Night still shocks me. Why she was gone when Cary came back down with a nurse shocks me. An ANGEL indeed!

the fear I had and the fear on Cary's face when the nurse told be "you're having your babies" knowing it was too early and they wouldn't make it...

the uncontrollable feeling of delivering Braden as we pulled into the hospital...

showing all my "goods" to the parking lot at the hospital while I delivered Brody right there before I could even get out of my car...

the elevator ride up to the hospital. Shaking and trembling from shock...

the boys waiting until after "Honey's" birthday to make their grand arrival...

the wonderful night nurse who was so kind and caring...

seeing both boys brought in to us, cleaned up and beautiful...

Braden's sweet toes that are identical to his dad's toes! The big one that isn't the big one...

Brody's sweet little body, his tiny hands, tiny feet, tiny nose...

20 fingers... 20 toes...

holding them for the first time...

the awful morning nurse who left us out in the hallway with all the "happy" bows on the doors for all the baby boys and girls while the were bring the boys to the bereavment room...

holding Braden & Brody for the last time...

Today is a celebration. A celebration of the memory of Braden and Brody Nicholas! Although, I don't have the opportunity to celebrate 1st Birthdays like most parents, I feel this is a special day. It's the day, one year ago that we met our angels!!!
Even if we never have more children, we're parent's and will always love Braden and Brody.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Boys! Celebrate with Jesus, Maddie, Grandmaw, Mema & Paw Paw. Keep watching over me and your daddy! Keep us strong! I love you!

A bad week that isn't so bad!!!

As Braden and Brody's birthday creeps up on us, I expect this to be a bad week. Easter is their Birthday!

Although the week isn't over, tonight I was HAPPY!!! Loni and I started a Bunco for Babies group and we had our first game tonight. We had 16 people and raised $160 and had 26 disposable cameras donated. It was a success and I really enjoyed myself! All that worrying for nothing! Everyone seemed to have a blast and I thank God for allowing us to do this in memory of our children.

What a Happy Birthday to my baby boys!

Here's our 1st Bunco group. Thank you ALL for making this such a great success!!!